What's the meaning of this?

"I hate my job. I can't wait till I retire so I can do something meaningful. Something that helps people."

I've worked with a lot of different people in a lot of different jobs, and this is something I hear over and over.

Sad, isn't it? To think that we can't do anything meaningful without having a lot of time. Yet there are billions of people who believe it. (Based on anecdotal evidence — I'd say more than half the people I've talked to believe it.)

It's a faulty belief. Sure, if you really believe it, it's true. You make it true. But it's an easy enough belief to challenge. An easy enough belief to change. And beliefs that are easy to change are rare.

Here's what you do:

Sometime over the next day, do something nice for a stranger.

It could be paying the toll for the person behind you. Helping someone carry their groceries to the car. Offering a sincere compliment.

Save the emotional experience. Write down how you feel.

This should be done as soon as possible, so the emotional response is still strong. Are you happy? Proud? Connected? You don't need to use a lot of words — just enough to tell you how you feel. After you write the emotions, briefly write down what you did.

Read it —out loud — to yourself.

What would it be like if you felt this way on a daily basis? If you spent just five minutes doing something nice for someone else, and reflecting on how it makes you feel?

Rinse and repeat.

Do this again every day for a week. Then for a month. A year. A lifetime. You may not choose to write down your emotions every day, but you can still savor them.

It's that easy. Spend just five minutes helping someone else in some small and unexpected way, and you can change your life.

What can you do to add meaning to your life in just five minutes?

Someone Else's Time

Sometimes it's someone else's five minutes that makes a difference in your life.

I'm going to Seth Godin: Live in Minneapolis on Thursday. I'm broke, and about to be unemployed, but he inspires me enough that I know he's worth it. I live 8 hours from Minneapolis, so I'm taking the next three days off. And, although I'm not a fan of driving long distances, I am giddy -- yes, giddy -- about this trip. I am going to a question ad answer session with someone whose advice I respect. Someone whose words and ideas inspire me.

It was actually a blog post of Seth Godin
(and the egging on of Ginger Reader, blogger at BADD)that got me started writing this blog. His post was about how, if you rock for just five minutes a day, you can do extraordinary things.

I have that particular bog post printed out and hanging in my cubicle. Not only does it remind me to have an extraordinary five minutes every day, it reminds me that, when I do something less than extraordinary, it's okay. Not everything has to be fantastic, awesome, spectacular. And that's important to remember.

The (less than) five minutes I spent reading that post have influenced me and others I've shared it with.

What has influenced you in just five minutes?

In Defense of . . .

"I'm okay with most people, but that (shudder), that's just . . . It's not right."

Twice in the past week I heard people say this, or something a lot like it. And that was just last week. It's a judgment statement that people make all the time. If the statement referred to something harmful:

I'm okay with most people, but rape/ pedophilia/ beastiality/ murder (shudder), that's just . . . It's not right.

Then I might not have a problem with it. I still wouldn't like the word choice -- condeming the person instead of the action -- but I'd be a lot more okay with it.

Last week, as usual, neither statement was about actions that cause harm to anyone. In fact, they weren't even about actions or lifestyles that would be easily noticable.

Last week, the things that brought about the squeamish comments were gender correction surgeries and furries.

And, as usual, the comments made by the squeamish illustrated how uninformed they were. To be fair, though, one of them asked me questions. The other just made assumptions. Sadly, making assumptions seems to be the more common of the two.

Although the conversations we ended up having in both instances lasted longer than five minutes, it took just five minutes for me to address and refute many of the common misconceptions, stereotypes, and prejudices regarding both gender dysphoria and furries.

Most prejudices stem from ignorance. And much of that ignorance can addressed, on a surface level, in just five minutes. People who hold prejudices will often start to rethink their points of view if someone they know challenges their assumptions. Five minutes may not overcome the prejudice, but it's a start.

What prejudices can you address in just five minutes?

I did what?

Sometimes you don't even know you make a difference.

Not long ago a co-worker and I were sent to pick up a sheet of foam core mounting board for a presentation. I had purchasing authority, he had car keys and knowledge of exactly what he needed. It took just a few minutes to get to the frame shop. My co-worker told the proprietor what he needed and she went to the back to find it for him. I paid for the foam core when she brought it out. While I signed the credit card slip, my co-worker picked up the 3'x4' piece. We thanked the lady who had helped us, then headed to the vehicle.

He opened the hatch of the SUV and finessed the foam core into it. I opened the back passenger door and pulled it over the seat back so he could close the hatch. We got into the vehicle and headed back to work.

He stopped in front of the side door and we both got out. I waited for him to unlock the hatch, then pulled out the foam core and headed toward the building.

"You're gonna' carry it in?" Surprise colored the question.

"Yeah." I could feel the well, duh look on my face. He had to park the SUV; while he did that, I'd carry the mounting board. Made sense.

"Wow! You're great."

And he meant it. He was that surprised. I don't know if his wife and kids don't do small things like that, or if the folks he works closely with at work leave everything to him. I do know he was genuinely surprised and appreciative that I didn't leave the board for him to carry.

Like I said, sometimes you don't know when you're going to make a difference. Live a good life, help people--even with seemingly tiny things--and I guarantee that you'll have plenty of moments that make differences you never expect and may never see.

What small thing might you have done today that made a difference for someone else?

Just Five Minutes

Sometimes all it takes to make a difference in someone's life is five minutes.  

Five minutes to listen to a loved one tell you about his day. Five minutes to tell a joke and cheer someone up. Five minutes to tell a story to a child. Just by being present, by really paying attention during those five minutes, you can make a difference. You can show how much you care.

Just five minutes can make a difference in your life, too. By spending five minutes each day to really notice the things around you, you become more engaged, more aware, more involved in your own life. You understand yourself and your world more than you did just five minutes ago.

This holds true in business, romance, parenting--almost everything. When you spend just five minutes a day absolutely engaged with all your senses, all your mind, all your focus, you make a difference. Some people never do this. Most people don't do it daily. The few who do - they are the ones who make real differences.
How will you spend just five minutes today?