Tell Me a Story

People want to be known. We want to be understood. We want to feel like we’re a part of something. One of the fastest ways to make those connections is through story.

Stories are everywhere. Not just on screen. Not just in books. Not just behind the words Once upon a time . . . . They are all around us. They are part of us. We are part of them.

As children we know this. We look at a tree and know its story (gnomes? fairies? eco-system?). We find an unusual pebble or scrap and create a history. When someone asks what we did last night, we tell it as a story with rich detail and texture. Somewhere along the path to adulthood, though, most people seem to lose this. We forget to look for the stories behind every day phenomena. We answer questions about our day with truncated episodes lacking color. And we don’t even seem to know something’s missing.

Storytelling was once considered an important, even sacred, act. Storytellers were respected. Now storytelling is too often reserved for children’s parties, kindergarten, and summer afternoons in the kiddie section of the library. But we all still crave stories. And you can learn to tell them.

There are lots of types of stories you can tell. You can tell fairy tales and fables. You can tell myths and legends. You can tell stories of people and events in history. You can tell personal histories. You can make up your own stories. If you tell a story that someone else created, make sure you give them credit.

The mechanics of storytelling are basic.

• Know your story’s beginning, middle, climax, and end.
• Use sensory details to bring the story to life – how things feel, taste, smell, and sound, as well as how they look.
• Keep it short and simple, including all that’s necessary to the story while avoiding tangents.
• Make the story your own. Even when telling a story that came from another source, own it. Use your descriptions and perceptions. Use words and language choices that are comfortable for you.
• Don’t worry about mistakes. If you get things out of order, if you leave something out, even if you skip an entire scene, it’s okay. Just keep telling the story. If you absolutely need to include something you’ve skipped, do so, otherwise let it be.

Stories are what connect us to each other. They connect us to our past. They connect us to cultures that seem different from our own. Stories highlight both our uniqueness and our sameness, showing us how we fit into our world. Those who share their stories offer a special gift to everyone who hears them.

What story can you share in just five minutes?

Alternate Reality

Just five minutes can make a difference in the way you see things.

You know that feeling of suddenly being someone else for just a moment (or maybe several moments)? The one that comes when you make a certain expression with your face, or you phrase something just so, or something. It's not always clear what causes it, but you're going along, minding your own business, and BAM, you're experiencing an alternate reality.

It happened to me earlier today. I was walking down the freshly painted halls of my apartment building, just going to move my laundry from the washers to the dryer, when I suddenly had the sense I was experiencing the world the way J- does.

Part of me was aware enough to pull back and try to figure out why. It certainly wasn't the setting. Although the walls are freshly painted, the carpet is old, stained, ugly. Not J-'s thing at all. And she wouldn't be doing her own laundry, so that wasn't it. I rethought my expressions, my thoughts, my movements… and there it was. It was my stride, the way I was carrying myself. It felt like hers. Strong, confident, sexy.

I tried to hold onto that feeling of living, however momentarily, someone else's life. That feeling of having someone else's world view. I always try to hold onto that when it happens.

Yes, I know although I feel I've stepped into someone's reality, what I'm experiencing isn't likely to be what they experience. Still, it is different from the way I experience things. It opens me to a different way of viewing the world, of experiencing the moments around me. It shifts my perspective, my paradigm. Sometimes uncomfortably so--like when I see how alone and adrift someone feels. Sometimes in a way that I want to embrace and make mine--like the confidence I felt as I channeled J- this afternoon. But whether uncomfortable or empowering, it always gives me something.

What difference could you make in your life if you spend just five minutes looking at things from someone else's point of view?