Re-View of the Day

Do you know what you did today? Look again.

I was hanging out with my nephew the other day. He's a teenager and, like most teenagers (like a lot of people, really), his mood can change faster than Lady Gaga changes outfits.

I was helping him with his math homework. This is often an exercise in patience and tact; he does not enjoy math. He'd stare at the problem. He'd write it down. He'd scrabble with the steps, scritching his pencil across the paper as he thought. And, eventually, he'd arrive at the answer. It was slow-going, but he was getting it.

And then we reached a problem that he couldn't figure out. He tried. I tried to help him through it. He tried again. I tried again. No luck. After struggling with it for a while, I told him to skip it, told him he could see if his teacher could explain it in class the next day. We continued with the rest of the assignment.

That night, as I was saying goodnight to him, the good mood vanished.

"This is stupid. I'm not tired. I shouldn't have to go to bed. This entire day has sucked!"

I sat on the floor next to his bed. (He's got a reverse-loft, so there's not enough room to sit on his bed without hitting my head.)

"Really? Nothing good has happened all day?"

He shook his head. I sighed. I started asking him about specific parts of his day. Things that had gone wrong, such as not figuring out the math problem. Things that had gone right -- figuring out all the other math problems. He managed to come up with a lot of things he'd done well during the day, and we talked about how to do more of those sorts of things more often. We also talked about how he might be able to avoid some of the problems he'd had throughout the day. Within five minutes, he'd calmed down. His day no longer seemed so bad. And the following day looked promising, too.

If you take five minutes to review your day, you can figure out what worked and how to repeat it, and figure out what didn't and how to avoid it.

Attitude of Gratitude

When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude. - G.K. Chesterton

I admit that I get discouraged sometimes. I'm not discouraged right now, though some people would say I have plenty of reasons to be.

A large part of why I'm not discouraged right now is attitude. (and, no, my attitude isn't always positive -- but I try to make it so) A conscious thinking about the good that comes from what could be seen as a bad situation. And there's always good. A conscious decision to be grateful. And there is always something to be thankful for.

Potential Problem
I live in a town where the natives, while friendly, don't seem interested in becoming friends.

Another Way of Looking at It
I am reminded everyday at how strong and independent I am. Whether it's being able to take care of myself when I'm sick, hanging pictures, or going hiking.

I am reminded how important my friends and family are to me. Even when they drive me nuts, I love them.

I am encouraged to help make it easier for other people who move here and have no one, and reminded to do this even if I'm surrounded by my friends.

Potential Problem
My job -- what I moved here for -- is almost done, and I haven't found a new one yet. I've sent out tons of resumes.

Another Way of Looking at It
If I don't find a job by the time this one ends, I will have the time to start the publishing business I've been thinking about. I will have the time to work on my roadtrip across America project. I've got them both sketched out, I just need the time to implement them.

Potential Problem
My laptop caught a virus and died. Because of this I have not done nearly as much writing while here as I had planned.

Another Way of Looking at It
I have taken time to revisit printouts of things I wrote before I moved here. I rediscovered pieces I had forgotten about. I've revised a lot of these works, making them stronger, tighter, better.

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It takes just five minutes to think about what good could come (or has come) from a difficulty in your life. Just five minutes to change your way of looking at a problem so that you can see the positive it adds to your life.

What are you thankful for?

Song of the Exiled

Sometimes all that's necessary to lift your spirits is a song.

Whine, whine, whine. Whaaah. The sounds of self-pity.

Last August I started a new job in a new state. It was a term position--366 days, but, I was told, would most likely be extended. The project manager and office manager both guessed the job would last about 2-1/2 years. I packed up my stuff and moved from Colorado, where I had friends and family, to North Dakota, where I knew no one. Now, nearly eleven-months later, I'm having to prepare for another move; this time I don't know where I'm going.

It's one of those unfortunate circumstances--funding cuts for the project I was hired to work on. All four of us who were hired for this project were told that, as of October 1, we're out of jobs. They were good enough to let us know as soon as they knew, which means I've sent out 30 resumes in the last six weeks. So far, no bites. The people at my office have been nice, letting me know that they're sorry to see me go, telling me things like, "I'm sure they'll come up with funding at the last minute. They always do." But I can't count on that, so I keep looking.

It's strange, though. As friendly as the people in my agency are, they aren't. I've been here for 10-1/2 months, and, though I've invited people to do things, I've only done non-work things with anyone from my agency three times. Once was at Thanksgiving, and that was with the other woman on my project who started here one week before I did. The other two times were over the July 4th weekend--and I pretty-much invited myself along (once to watch the parade, once to watch the fireworks). In fact, the only good friend I made since I moved here moved back to Colorado more than a month ago.

Can you tell I've been feeling sorry for myself? I know, I know. Play a sad song on the violin for me.

I really do know that my life is not bad. I have friends, they just live in other states. I have a job, and I will find another one before this one ends. I like the people in my office and they seem to like me. Logically I know all that. But, still, sometimes those pity-full emotions creep up and get the better of me.

Because of those pity-full feelings, work this week (and, yes, I know it's only Tuesday) has been rough. I completed a fraction of what I felt I should complete. My mind kept wandering. I was easily distracted. I was exhausted.

This morning, while trying to figure out how to get back on track, I was reminded of the power of music. At lunch I ran home for my MP3 player. When I got back to work, I plugged in the earphones and put it on play. For an entire song, I just listened. I didn't work. I didn't think about anything but the music. And at the end of the song, I felt lighter, better, freer. I had the music on all afternoon, and I got a lot more work done than I had yesterday or this morning.

According to A Candle In the Dark, the average modern American song is approximately 4 minutes long. This means that, in just five minutes you can completely give yourself over to a song, and pull yourself back after it ends while still breathing in the music, lyrics, and feelings of the piece.

What song can lift your mood in just five minutes?

Feel Better Soon

Just five minutes a day keeps the doctor at bay.

Two months ago Dr. Jo Barton and Professor Jules Pretty, University of Essex, published their results of a study about exercising in nature (green exercise). What they found backs up what I've been saying: Just five minutes can make a difference.

The results of the study show that just five minutes of exercising in nature has a measurable effect on your mental health—especially mood and self-esteem.

According to Professor Pretty, "You get a very substantial benefit from the first five minutes. We should be encouraging people in busy and stressed environments to get outside regularly, even for short bits of time."

It doesn't seem to matter what type of exercise you do, as long as you do it in nature. So if you want to garden, take a walk in a park, ride a horse, go sailing... do it. But make sure you do it for at least five minutes.

Read about the green exercise study in the journal Environmental Science and Technology.

How will you spend just five minutes today improving your mental health?