Song of the Exiled

Sometimes all that's necessary to lift your spirits is a song.

Whine, whine, whine. Whaaah. The sounds of self-pity.

Last August I started a new job in a new state. It was a term position--366 days, but, I was told, would most likely be extended. The project manager and office manager both guessed the job would last about 2-1/2 years. I packed up my stuff and moved from Colorado, where I had friends and family, to North Dakota, where I knew no one. Now, nearly eleven-months later, I'm having to prepare for another move; this time I don't know where I'm going.

It's one of those unfortunate circumstances--funding cuts for the project I was hired to work on. All four of us who were hired for this project were told that, as of October 1, we're out of jobs. They were good enough to let us know as soon as they knew, which means I've sent out 30 resumes in the last six weeks. So far, no bites. The people at my office have been nice, letting me know that they're sorry to see me go, telling me things like, "I'm sure they'll come up with funding at the last minute. They always do." But I can't count on that, so I keep looking.

It's strange, though. As friendly as the people in my agency are, they aren't. I've been here for 10-1/2 months, and, though I've invited people to do things, I've only done non-work things with anyone from my agency three times. Once was at Thanksgiving, and that was with the other woman on my project who started here one week before I did. The other two times were over the July 4th weekend--and I pretty-much invited myself along (once to watch the parade, once to watch the fireworks). In fact, the only good friend I made since I moved here moved back to Colorado more than a month ago.

Can you tell I've been feeling sorry for myself? I know, I know. Play a sad song on the violin for me.

I really do know that my life is not bad. I have friends, they just live in other states. I have a job, and I will find another one before this one ends. I like the people in my office and they seem to like me. Logically I know all that. But, still, sometimes those pity-full emotions creep up and get the better of me.

Because of those pity-full feelings, work this week (and, yes, I know it's only Tuesday) has been rough. I completed a fraction of what I felt I should complete. My mind kept wandering. I was easily distracted. I was exhausted.

This morning, while trying to figure out how to get back on track, I was reminded of the power of music. At lunch I ran home for my MP3 player. When I got back to work, I plugged in the earphones and put it on play. For an entire song, I just listened. I didn't work. I didn't think about anything but the music. And at the end of the song, I felt lighter, better, freer. I had the music on all afternoon, and I got a lot more work done than I had yesterday or this morning.

According to A Candle In the Dark, the average modern American song is approximately 4 minutes long. This means that, in just five minutes you can completely give yourself over to a song, and pull yourself back after it ends while still breathing in the music, lyrics, and feelings of the piece.

What song can lift your mood in just five minutes?