Don't be a stranger

“People are strange when you're a stranger. Faces look ugly when you're alone.” ~ The Doors

There’s truth to the song lyrics above. Fortunately people don’t have to remain strangers. They don’t have to feel alone. And you can be the person to make it so.

How?

Talk to people. Talk to people everywhere. Well, everywhere it’s appropriate. And it’s appropriate in many more places than you might think. It’s appropriate to talk to people while you’re standing in line at the grocery store, bank, or deli. It’s appropriate while waiting on your oil change or doctor. It’s appropriate at the gym. It’s not appropriate if you’re watching a movie or in the stall of a public restroom.

A lot of people are hoping someone will notice them. They want to be acknowledged. They want to know someone thinks they’re special, thinks they’re worth talking to. A lot of people will love it if you strike up a conversation with them. No, not everyone will. You will be rebuffed and rejected. But so what? You’ve lost nothing by trying to start a conversation. More often people will be receptive and you’ll meet interesting people.

There are tricks to starting conversations with strangers. The biggest one is that you have to set your ego aside. If you want to engage someone else, find out about them. Ask them questions. It’s okay to start with innocuous ones – what do they think about the Muzak version of the song that’s playing – or about something that’s going on where you are (shared experience). The more you do it the easier you’ll find it and the more ways of starting a conversation you’ll discover.

Generally, people like to talk about themselves. And a lot of people are starved for opportunities to do so. Ask people about themselves. Show a genuine interest in what they have to say. Listen to their answers and offer thoughtful responses. Show each person that you know they are valuable.

Chances are most conversations will remain just chance encounters that help pass the time and give you a glimpse into someone else’s life. Every now and again, though, one of these conversations will lead to more. You’ll discover a true connection, a spark, and you’ll have made a new friend or business associate.

Will you spend just five minutes today to keep someone from remaining a stranger?