Pardon You

Forgive: To give up a feeling of resentment

A couple of years ago I took a university course called Psychology of Happiness. It was just a short course. One month, two credits. During the course we started discussing forgiveness. Should people always be forgiven? Are there some things that are unforgivable? Should anything be forgiven?

There was a lot of discussion. A lot of argument. Heated argument. There was a large, loud contingent of people who believe that there are definitely things that are unforgivable. Most of them had examples.

• abuse
• cheating in a relationship
• murder
• rape
• and more

We didn't discuss what forgiveness is.

The definition of forgiveness has nothing to do with accepting someone's bad behavior. It has nothing to do with keeping a toxic person in your life. It has nothing to do with giving approval to the person whom your forgiving. It, in fact, has nothing do with the other person.

Forgiveness, by definition, is letting go of your resentment.

You can forgive someone and still recognize that you need to distance yourself from them, or know that their behavior is such that you can no longer allow them in your life. That is, forgiving someone is something you do for yourself. You do it for your well-being, your state of mind, your health.

Can you take five minutes to let go of a resentment that you've been clinging to?